i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
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