I just cut my nipple shaving
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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