i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize