What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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