i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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