I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize