need another drink. this is the easiest way
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize