Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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