Sacagawea was the original milf.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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