apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she smelled like a LAN party
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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