Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
This toilet bowl is my home.
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