How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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