His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize