Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize