If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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