Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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