this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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