I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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