i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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