Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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