I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize