Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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