Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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