when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
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So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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