my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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