My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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