i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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