you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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