someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize