Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize