Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
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I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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