It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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