I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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