They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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