Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize