Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize