Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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