before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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