First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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