I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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