I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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