i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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