i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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