I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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