i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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