We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize