Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize