i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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