dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize