my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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